442. Don’t Look for a Frankenstein
Have you ever liked someone for their sense of humour and the other person for their appearance? Our preferences eventually create an image of the person we want to date, especially for single individuals. But the problem is that what we have created might be a Frankenstein, not a real person. Because, in reality, the person we were imagining is a collection of different traits or the things we like about a person, combined together. I'm sure you realize by now that such a person is an illusion, not a real person. But many single people today are searching for a Frankenstein, and they don't know it. As long as you are waiting for “Frankenstein”, you are in for a shock, a rude awakening that such a person does not exist.
Marriage usually happens not when you find “The one” but when you find someone you are willing to accept as they are. The person may not possess all your preferred traits, but they may have one or two traits that overshadow all other preferences.
The main reason is that we often don’t know who is best for us. We often just have “preferences”, and they can be misguided.
However, a good way to gauge someone’s suitability for marriage is by observing how people perceive that person. That is why you should pay careful attention to people’s responses when they see the person you are dating. We shouldn’t let people’s opinions dictate our decisions, but we shouldn’t ignore them either. (I’m sure you also had opinions about other people’s dating) People see things we cannot objectively see, especially in a dating relationship that is initially filled with blinding romance.
Marriage is not two incomplete people completing each other. It is two complete people complementing one another. (Don’t look for your other half. Marriage won’t make you whole.) “Complete” doesn’t mean “perfect”. It means it is not lacking anything parts required for normal function. A complete body has limbs, eyes, and all the essential organs, apart from their health. They might have some problems here and there, but you need all of them to function as complete human beings. We must be a “complete” person to function as an independent human being before we can complement our future spouse.
