395. Confusion to Certainty

My mom was hit with a stroke exactly on Halloween, 2 years from the day I am writing this. It was a scary moment (no pun intended) for me and my family. As I look back, all I remember was feeling confused. I didn’t know what to make of this event, even though I knew and believed God was good.

But looking back after 2 years, I cannot help but praise him for using this to strengthen our faith in his miracle-working power. It also brought our families closer, as we prayed and hoped together in earnest faith. Our faith wasn’t a naive “wish” but anchored on God’s promise.

A few days after the stroke, when my mom was still in a coma, during my regular Q.T., the passage “happened” to be John 11:4 (I follow a Bible plan, so I was not searching for a certain passage to meditate): “…This sickness will not end in death but is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” I felt strongly that God was giving me his promise through the exact words of Jesus. This also happened to be the exact passage I was scheduled to preach on the coming Sunday. I knew God was setting us up for something.

But as sure as this promise felt, I had to juggle through the “realities” of her prolonged coma, doctor’s opinions and realistic projections of her gloomy fate (as she could not wake up after 2 weeks). Without knowing, I was giving into what felt like “the reality”, feeling doubtful of my mom’s recovery. That’s when I “happened” to remember during prayer the verse I memorized from Hebrews 11:1: “Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for…” It was the verse I recited many times while growing up in church, but I understood for the first time that “faith” is the reality, not “what I see”. And I “happened” to come across a reel of a pastor preaching that the opposite of faith is not doubt, but “sight”, based on 2 Corinthians 5:7. My faith was bolstered by the new revelation of the passage I knew all the while.

Fast-forward, everything the doctor said she wouldn’t be able to do even if she wakes up from the coma, she can do now. She is fully conscious, her memory is intact, and she can speak and eat. Though the promise of “full recovery” hasn’t happened in our sight (which would be walking), I am no longer confused but certain because I know that God will do what he promised. Today’s Q.T passage “happened” to be Job 37:14, where God says “Listen to this, Job. Stop and consider God’s wonders.”