412. How to Become Mature
Many young people discuss maturity and express a desire for it. However, I often find that their view of maturity as a “level up” hinders their ability to achieve it. We do not mature in a linear fashion. It involves navigating many stages, even though they may seem unrelated. Maturity is not something we attain as we get older; rather, it manifests as we choose the right path.
During our younger years, it is easy to equate the ideals we hold with our identity. “Since this is what I ‘believe’, this must be who I ‘am’.” I don’t say this as a criticism but as a description. I have been young before, so think of it as my confession, too. Young people tend to judge society and others based on their ideals, without recognizing the gap. In a positive sense, that’s why young people bring change to society. However, many young people think to themselves, “Once I get older, I will be different!” I had the same thought frequently back in the day.
However, as we grow older and confront the realities of life while facing more challenges, we start to recognize that we don’t embody our ideals as well as we thought. With increased responsibilities and more to lose than in our younger days, we discover that living according to our ideals is more difficult than we had assumed, revealing the inconsistencies and the ugly side of ourselves and others. At this point, some individuals may choose to compromise and abandon the ideals they once held, believing they were naive about life’s realities.
But here is where one can make a choice: not to let go of their ideals without judging themselves and others for inconsistency. In other words, rather than picking one or the other, you embrace both and manage the tension that arises with it. Life is difficult for those who see in black and white. Life makes sense for those who see in shades of grey, as there is so much more grey than black or white in our lives.
Navigating the tension between the ideal and reality marks the beginning of maturity. Christian maturity begins with the understanding that God has already declared us righteous in Christ, yet we often fall short of living out that righteousness. Our journey ahead is neither rooted in pretension nor despair; instead, it involves a continual reception of grace and a sincere repentance toward faith. Embracing this tension will humble us and deepen our dependency on God, which is the essence of Christian maturity.
