420. All the Answers Are in Jesus - Pastor Chai

I lost my parents during the Korean War, so I had a rather bleak view on life since childhood. I still have vivid memories of lying in bed, hoping the next morning would never come. I was only in third or fourth grade at that time, already depressed and suicidal.

At such a young age, I was not able to express myself through questions like, "What is life?" But I struggled with the meaning of life. I felt like life was chaotic and devoid of meaning. In an effort to find life’s meaning, I read all the books I could find at home, most of which were beyond a child’s intellectual capacity. For example, I read Andre Gide's "Straight Is The Gate" and Camus' "The Plague," which are hard even for adults to understand.

When I became a teenager, I questioned, "What does it mean to be a human being?" I thought psychology may provide me with answers, so I read a lot of books on psychology.
In college, my reading list was mostly filled with philosophical books. I was particularly interested in existential philosophy and was a great fan of Nietzsche. However, I got tired of just studying and analyzing life. I wanted to live a real life. I longed for a happy life.

Then, I got a copy of the New Testament Bible from a street evangelism team when I was in graduate school. I started to read it and finished it in three days. I slowly came to realize that Jesus's death and resurrection was an undeniable historical fact. I felt that accepting Jesus as my Lord was my only feasible option.
After receiving Jesus, life started to make sense. My confusion about life gradually dissipated. My pessimistic personality became optimistic. Finally I was able to confess that I was truly happy.

This is the primary reason I evangelize. While going to heaven is important, it's secondary. I want to help those living in pain and confusion experience a truly free and fulfilling life. I want them to know that Jesus is the answer to all of their life's problems.